i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
