Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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