Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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