you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
