jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
