it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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