I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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