i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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