That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Randomize
