i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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