bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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