I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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