Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
