i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Randomize
