You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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