i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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