I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
