my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
