So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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