She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This is my gift to your gina
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
