i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
