I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
