last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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