Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
