I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
