I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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