there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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