No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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