peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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