wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
