my sisters under your porch take her home
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
