I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I need moral support for this bender
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
