my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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