I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
