today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
