he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
