you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
