I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
