The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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