I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
