I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
