sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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