Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
