Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
