Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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