Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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