So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
