This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
