my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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