you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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