craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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