problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he shaved USA in his pubs
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
