You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My dick has a subreddit
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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