i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize