I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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