I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
