but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
