At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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