Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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