I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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