Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
