i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
