a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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