God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
