I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
