2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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